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I’m beginning to think it’s not anxiety I’m fighting, but something being missing from my life. I’ve been diagnosed with the dreaded “generalized anxiety disorder” which basically means I just don’t feel right about life and get angry at stupid stuff.

As usual on Sundays, I took yesterday to reflect on how I feel, what I feel it about, and what I’m going to do about it. I realized that a lot of what I’m feeling is simply there because I have no one to talk about it with. I have two wonderful daughters who listen to me whenever we talk, but they have their own lives. I’ll never underplay what they bring to my life, but something is still missing.

Everyone should have a best friend. I don’t. Haven’t for 25 years. A lot of the fault for this lies with me. You have to go around people, meet them, and let them meet you to have friends. But even in those years when I was out in the world working, actually going to church instead of online daily mass, I still did not have what I would term a real friend much less a best friend. I had a lot of acquaintances that I enjoyed being around and who seemed to enjoy being around me. As soon as whatever work function caused us to be together ended, however, it was bye and that was that until the next time something threw us together. There was never any reaching out.

I miss the connection I had with several girls through my teens, through college, and into my early adult years. I’m not sure what started to eclipse that connection. Maybe having children who required large amounts of time or other adult obligations. One of my best friends became a nun. I mean, you don’t have people calling religious almost daily just to talk.

I subscribe to several social media groups directed toward the over 60 female crowd. I know I’m not alone in feeling this missing link in my life. The question is, how to regenerate connections in order to form a best friendship again. A connection with someone you can call (NOT text) to hear them laugh over something silly that happened. A connection with someone willing to explore an idea with you. And a connection where you are able to and waiting to do the same for them.

I feel like I should take out an ad. Wanted: Best friend. Must jointly laugh, cry, and commiserate on a regular basis. Should be willing to ask for the same in return. Jealous types should not apply.